A Marriage for Valentine's Day

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Perry

There is plenty of rhetoric about Valentine’s Day, this so-called period of romance, showing up around every corner, on the Internet, in every retail store. Believe it - or not?

Instead of speculation, meet a real couple living out their romance in the waterfront city of Apollo Beach, Florida.

Robert (Bob) and Marva Perry, celebrating 45 years of marriage and romance, becoming the happily ever after forever couple.

Casually introduced by a mutual friend, Bob and Marva didn’t connect socially until years later, once she made an employment move from Seattle to his home town of St. Petersburg. 

For now, put a pin in the love at first sight notion. It did not take long after the second chance encounter, however, before they knew that the shallow waters of friendship were rapidly moving in the long-term relationship direction, never looking back. They dated for a year, marrying one vacation weekend in Miami after a college friend organized a private spontaneous ceremony of close friends and relatives.

To no one’s surprise, the news of their marriage traveled quickly throughout the communities of St. Petersburg and Gainesville, home town of the bride. Though some were disappointed and felt left out, everyone shared in best wishes and eventually moved beyond the minor dissent.

The newly formed family, including their four young children, soon became well-known in south St. Petersburg in Lakewood Estates where they lived.  The young children, Robert, Jr., Robin, and Erica attended Bethel Metropolitan Baptist Church weekly with their busy parents, participating in numerous activities.  Their daughter Tammy lived in Texas with her mother and siblings. 

“I never used the term “step” child, but always loved the children the same and considered them all just as our children,” Bob recalled. Marva said it took some time at first, but she changed her view and joined Bob in accepting all the children as the same, dropping the term “step” as well. After being together for four years, the couple had their first son, Devon, rounding up the final sibling count to five.

Their demanding jobs also kept them busy. Bob primarily focused on work and continuing his educational interests. He had a bachelor’s degree from Dillard University in Health and Physical Education; a bachelor’s in Psychology from The University of South Florida; and a master’s also from USF in Public Administration.  Marva had a bachelor’s in Early Childhood Education from Florida State University and steadily excelled in various positions at Allstate Insurance Company, retiring after 33 years.

Reflecting on the earlier days together, Marva said it takes a lot of hard work and prayer to keep a marriage intact.  She said it is best to try and resolve disagreements before going to bed at night.

“In many ways we’re opposites.  Maybe that’s why we are attracted to each other,” Marva explained.  “Where I am weak, Bob is strong, and that helps to strengthen me.”

After spending their first 10 years in St. Petersburg, the couple moved to Boca Raton for better job opportunities. Once comfortably situated in their new home, Bob pursued another master’s degree, this time in theology from Knox Theological Seminary. He was appointed in positions as the assistant and interim pastor of First Baptist Church Piney Grove, in Lauderdale Lakes, Florida, where the couple also served. Once they returned to the Tampa Bay area 13 years ago, Bob became and remains the pastor of the historic 100-year-old Greater Grand Central Missionary Baptist Church of St. Petersburg. They purchased a home in Apollo Beach to finalize the retirement move.

When they speak about their time together, the conversation ultimately surrounds church and family.  Marva loves to cook southern food and Bob loves to eat what he says is soul food.

“I like soul food because that’s what I grew up on.  I enjoy eating lima beans, black-eyed peas, and neck bones,” he chuckled.

Bob and Marva

While home-cooked meals are Marva's specialty, Bob prefers to eat out after church on Sunday's at some of their favorite area restaurants, including Bern's Steak House in the SoHo district of Tampa, and Circles Seafood in Apollo Beach.

Retired, yet traveling is not at the top of their bucket list of things to do. They agree cruises are definitely not on the agenda, or any place outside the U. S. Their most memorable vacation was a tour to Washington, D.C. The couple made the trip to attend a National Prayer Breakfast when President Barack Obama was first in office and delivered the opening prayer for the occasion.

“Marva was stopped by the secret service when she tried to leave the ballroom to get her inhaler that she left upstairs in our hotel bedroom,” Bob recalled. "She was experiencing problems breathing.  But the secret service wouldn’t let her leave.  Instead, they summoned the paramedics who sat her at another table and gave her a cup of coffee to drink while the secret service retrieved the inhaler from our bedroom. That was pretty scary at first but it all worked out.”

Marva said she heard about drinking coffee for asthma attacks from her dad when she was much younger but didn’t believe it actually worked until that day in D.C.

“Actually, in the end I was fine with everything because I got a better seat closer to President Obama and some of the other dignitaries,” Marva explained laughing.

Bob celebrated his 80th birthday on February 8; Marva will be 72-years-old on March 18. Reminiscent of their wedding, his joyful birthday was shared with a few close friends and family.

“My doctor says I’m in great shape for my age,” Bob excitedly said. “I walk a little slower but I feel really good.”

Forty-five years of marriage, five children, one daughter-in-law, nine grandchildren, and five great-grandchildren.  No rhetoric about candy, roses, or arrows.  Just living a life of romance that has been built and remains on faith and the belief that church and family are the ultimate game changers for a successful marriage. Spoken with authority.

“You will have ups and downs in your marriage, but you must forgive each other,” Bob said.  “And couples must attend church and worship together.”

Unpinned. Believe it!

Happy Valentine’s Day.